Post-Thanksgiving/Pre-Christmas Post

It’s not good to get out a groove for blogging, which is like sleep – the more you sleep, the more you want to sleep, and then you never get anything done.

I’ve been enjoying myself since Thanksgivingdinner. I was lucky enough to have two dinners to attend, one with my family and one with Lebron’s family. I dined on enough turkey, dressing and mac and cheese to choke a horse, and have a little laughter with Lebron’s mom and relatives, who always manage kill me with their homespun wisdom. It’s always great to be with people who keep it real and believe in the simple things in life.

Other than that, I did manage to attend a couple of Black Friday sales, first at Office Depot, then at Best Buy (a hot mess!). Since I got there two hours after the doors open, of course I was left with nothing. I was attempting to buy a laptop, and with sales of $349, that seemed right up my alley. Instead I was told that I needed to be there at 4 in the morning to get those sacred deals. Needless to say, my shopping visit was in vain. I probably won’t look again until after Christmas, when things might be a little less hectic and a little more financial friendly for my wallet.

Christmasthis year, shopping wise, plans to be short and sweet. I’m only buying gifts for my parents, three-year-old nephew, and two teen nieces. Other grown folks can fend for themselves. I went shopping with my brother last weekend, him in search of a bicycle and a cell phone for his daughters. We went to three Wal-marts in the city. Talk about tired.

It still hasn’t made me get in the Christmas spirit yet. Considering I’m a last-minute, procrastinating shopper, it’ll probably be the day before Christmas eve before I even finish what’s on my list.

Is it beginning to look a lot like Christmas where you are?

Saturday Morning Ramblings from Borders

This morning, I’m doing my weekend routine of sitting in my favorite bookstore, Borders, reading magazines, drinking iced coffee and enjoying the beauty of being around readers like me who just enjoy a good book. Call me a nerd, but it’s comforting. I love ambiance of a bookstore and reading has been a passion of mine since I was an 8-year-old spending her entire allowance on paperbacks at $2 (yeah, remember when they were that cheap?). I remember reading such classics as The Baby-Sitters Club, Just as Long as We’re Together (Judy Blume is the bomb!), and Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry. Now, the paperbacks are $15 and even more for hardbacks. Books aren’t cheap but totally worth the enjoyment they give me.

People-watching is one of the things I also enjoy. It’s interesting to see the different walks of life, from students armed with laptops and iPods to retirees lounging reading the newspaper without a care in the world. It’s even better when I spot a girl like me, a rare occasion. Spotting them with my gaydar, it’s so sexy to see an intelligent sistah getting her studying on. A few years back, there was a girl I noticed reading Curve and chatting it up on her Yahoo messenger. Single at the time, I found her to be attractive and even more so that she seemed to be playing on my team. But alas, I never approached her. I can be shy when it comes to those situations, and usually, I need an encouraging sign to approach a woman in public. You never know about those kinds of encounters.

But I digress. So today, I have picked out the following magazines to read: Essence (with Will & Jada Smith on the cover), Sister 2 Sister (simply to get my black gossip on), US Weekly (to get my mainstream gossip-on), and The Advocate (to read for gay issues). Every one offers something different, and knowledge is definitely power. I begin with The Advocate, which has a column about a woman’s struggle with money living in the high-ass city of San Francisco, an article about the recent approval of gay marriage in Connecticut (yeah! :-)), and an interview with E. Patrick Johnson, who wrote the book Sweet Tea about gay men living in the South. I need to pick that one up. I love reading about our stories, from self-acceptance to coming out to being in love. I guess that’s why I’ve been absolutely drawn to the women on my blogroll. We all have being a lesbian in common, but each have our own stories and journeys that make us different. I love it, and can’t get enough.

The gossip mags, Sister 2 Sister and Us Weekly, offer the same ole thing, but Essence is one of my favorites. The article about Will and Jada is just beautiful, wherein they interview each other about love, marriage and children. The way they interact is just real and refreshing. Listen to this quote from Will to Jada:

“Well, the truth about life is that we’re all alone. But when somebody loves you, right, that experience is shared. Love is the only real connective tissue that allows you to not live and die by yourself. It gives you purpose beyond you. You don’t necessarily have to get married have that, but I’ve always wanted to be married. I knew you were that person for me because you’re loyal, to a fault…”

That’s deep. And considering the fallout from the defeat of gay marriage in California and Florida, it seems to be right on time, and leads me to think of something I read recently about gay marriage. Elton John, that flamboyantly gay icon, said he thinks gays had it wrong when it came to California’s Proposition 8. He believes it was a mistake to go strictly for gay marriage, suggesting that maybe they should have asked for civil unions instead – a move that would have been easier for the mainstream to swallow. I do understand where he’s coming from, considering England approved civil partnerships four years ago and gays have the same rights and benefits as married couples. Maybe it would have been easier for straights to accept us having civil unions, but who says they should be the only one to have the privilege of marriage. They aren’t respecting the institution of marriage any better, so why can’t I have the right to marry my lover?

Actually, California surprised me by opposing gay marriage. Considering how metropolitan the urban areas are, like Los Angeles and San Francisco are, I didn’t see that one coming. Florida, yeah. We’re so conservative as a whole that it was just expected to say Yes to Amendment 2. Considering the protest I saw in front of the Capitol building, and how muddled the language was on the issue, I didn’t have much hope for it to pass. The protests this weekend should show the public just how disappointed we are, and we’re not going away.

Also on my Borders reading pile is Hiding in Hip-Hop by Terrance Dean. It’s an interesting look at the gay world of entertainment from the eyes of an insider. He gives you the skinny on how gay men deal with being on the down-low to achieve further success in Hollywood. There isn’t much name dropping, unless you count pseudonyms he gives actors, singers and rappers to shield their identities. Some of them I’ve been able to figure out, like Ne-Yo (surprise, surprise), but others are like a riddle. I’m excited trying to figure it out. Terrance portrays his life in an honest fashion, from growing feeling abandoned to trying to make heads or tails of his sexuality. You should check it out.

Well, back to my reading. Essence awaits…

Back to School Shopping

See that mannequin on the left, all hunched over and worn out? That’s me, how I felt after a day of shopping with my 15-year-old niece, “Neecee.”

On this Labor Day, my mother, Neecee and I hit the mall for a little Back-to-School retail exercise. We took her to shops that were age appropriate, filled with teenage girls with moms and young-looking college women. What I realized as I browsed from store to store, was that everything Neecee picked up was either too tight, too short or too expensive. That’s what they make for girls her age.

And granted Neecee’s not a big girl by any means. She probably wears a solid size 5, however with the way the clothes fit, she needed a 9 to have enough room to grow into. The new trend now, I suppose, is “skinny.” Skinny jeans, skinny tops…blah blah blah. And with my niece being as endowed as her beautiful older aunt, she doesn’t need any skinny top that clings to her in all the wrong places.

Like she wanted a high-wasted pencil skirt; it was what she was dying for. We finally found one in the store Forever 21, which should be called forever 5 cause that’s the only size they fit. And they have this weird size system, where a size 27 would be a size 7 and a size 29 would be a 10 (or some variation thereof). It was hard to get a straight answer from any of the clerks, who kind of looked at me like why is this big girl even in this store.

Anyway, Neecee finds a “29” and proceeds to head in the longest dressing room line I’ve seen. You’d think they were handing out food stamps the way they were clamored together. When Neecee finally gets a room and tries it on, it’s a little tight. Not in a bad way, like if she breathed a button would pop you in the eye kind of way, but like if she washed it one too many times, she wouldn’t get in it – ever again.

And of course, one of the lovely ladies (plus one gay dude; there’s always one, ain’t it?) of Forever 21 told me there was no size 30 (and proceeded to give me the mean eye like why did I even ask). We did end up getting it, though, because it was so darn cute.

I guess this is what young girls have to contend with nowdays. Nothing ever fits with room to spare, and the clothing lasts far shorter than what it used. But Neecee came away with some good stuff, with the money she was alotted, and she will be cute for her first week of classes.

Which is all she really cared about anyway.

Hoochies @ Work

applebottoms.jpgWe have a new girl in our office. She started on Friday and so far she seems to be fitting in well. Or so I think.

Apparently, a couple of the office staff (read: black females) have taken to calling her a hoochie.

Maybe it’s because she wears a long black weave almost to her midsection. Or it could be that she has obvious light brown contacts in her eyes, framed by fake eyelashes. Yet it could be the fact that she wore a form-fitting, cleavage-bearing top paired with snug dress pants. Or it might have something to do with the fact that she has what one could call a “banging body,” with boobs and booty for days. She was the perfect woman Apple Bottom Jeans were made for.

Of course, me being me, I had no problem with that. (You have read the title of this blog, right?)

But some of the other ladies, well, they took offense to what they deemed her “ghetto attire.”

“I think she’s cute,” I said to them in her defense. Cause she is. Regardless of what she had on, “Homegirl” is pretty, which can be seen in spite of the fakeness adorning her face. I happen to think she’s attractive, but I couldn’t convince my conservative female co-workers otherwise.

“Yeah, she’s cute, but she needs to stop wearing those contacts and take out that tacky weave,” one said.

“She looks a little…,” another said, almost in a whisper, “like a hoochie. She’s looking one step out the club.”

While the new girl wasn’t exactly dressed for success, she didn’t appear to a hoodrat either. Homegirl had on an outfit that would be considered office casual, and though I would have worn something a little more business-like for my first day, I wasn’t down for persecuting her. Our office attire is mostly business casual, and she was dressed like most of us would. It seemed to me there was a little cubicle hating going on, cause the hoochie comments were a little uncalled for.

Damn, the girl had only been on the job an hour.

Today, though, Homegirl was a little more covered up and her long hair was pinned up. She and I had on an almost similar outfit — a casual blouse with black capris — but now the ladies seemed to be convinced that her fuchsia-colored hoops weren’t professional enough.

Why is it that women seem to hate on each other over something so petty, especially if that person is considered to be an outsider? I never understood this logic. These so-called conservative co-workers, the same ones finding fault with Homegirl’s bootylicious appearance, are the same ones who will wear a dress with a plunging neckline leading to their own ample bosom. They also have thick bodies just like Homegirl — if not more so. It’s never been my style to rip on another sister without just cause. What bothered me about their comments was that they hadn’t even taken the time to introduce themselves to Homegirl, but yet could have a whole 20-minute conversation about whether she’s a ghetto bunny one step from the projects.

Putting down another woman, who may appear to be more beautiful or intelligent, doesn’t make me less attractive or less smart.

So their critical words irked me.

Cause when I talked to her, she seems like she has the sweetest spirit.

And that’s just my first impression.

Oh, Find Me a Home (Apartment)

findapartment.jpg

I’m in the market for a new apartment.

The places I’ve been looking at are a series of “I like this, but definitely don’t like that” experiences that have left me a little frustrated. All I want is a nice two-bedroom with a walk-in closet in my price range. Is that too hard to ask for?

The first apartment I didn’t even get a chance to see because I was told I made too much money. It’s a nice apartment building, lovely and almost brand new, with a volleyball court, playground, exercise room and clubhouse. Apparently, though, it’s subsidized by the government and its tenants could only make a certain amount to reside there. When the renter told me for a two-bedroom  I had to make between $20-24,000 a year, I had to stop myself from looking at her sideways.

“I make more than that,” I said politely.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you can’t live here,” she replied. “But, if you plan on having a roommate, the salary cap could rise to $28,000.”

With a friendly smirk, I told her, “Uhh, I still make more than that.”

“Oh,” she said, like she was shocked. I guess she wasn’t expecting a sistah to say she makes over $30,000 a year.

I quickly left after that.

The second place was spacious, nice view of a golf course, washer and dryer included. But the bedroom closet is in the bathroom – yes, I said the bathroom. The shower would be only a few feet away from my precious clothes, and I’m not trying hear that. Not to mention my landlord would be a dubious looking, middle-aged white guy.

The third crib I saw this week had two great bedrooms – both with a lot of room – but the kitchen was only two-people big. Imagine a kitchen with a refrigerator and stove on on side, and a sink and dishwater on the other…and only an arms-length between the two. Girl, if I did the Cha-Cha Slide or Walk it Out in that kitchen, my legs would keep bumping into the cabinet. (Don’t ask why I would do that in the first place – just go with it). If I opened the refrigerator door, nobody would be able to get by. And then the walk-in closet is in the spare bedroom. Not cute.

The fourth I saw yesterday was 1180 square feet of perfect. Roomy kitchen. Gargantuan living room. Walk-in closet. Everything modern. I was very impressed. However, the apartment is on the higher end of what I want to pay. I could dish out that price, but if I could find something just as roomy for less, why not?

I plan on looking some more next week, but I’m getting tired. My last apartment ended up being the very first one I looked at; after discovering it, I didn’t bother to look at many more. I truly lucked up. This go round, it’s much harder. Everything is either too expensive, too small, too ghetto, or too far from work.

It also doesn’t help that the people you contact about these places either don’t return your phone call or act like they’re doing you a favor by showing you the apartment. There’s one place I need to visit because I’ve heard it has pretty good prices and loads of space. However, every time I go by the office, it’s closed. And I still haven’t received the application the snippy-sounding manager was supposed to fax to me. It’s enough to make you wanna slap a hoe, but you can’t because you need a clean criminal record to rent.

So wish me luck as I continue on my way. I have a couple more places to look at, and I’m done. I can’t take this anymore.

My Sexual Preference: I’m a LESBIAN!!

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 4.71

0 1 2 3 4 5 6
Heterosexual Bisexual Homosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person’s sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person’s lifespan. While a person’s number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like “homosexual”, “heterosexual”, and “bisexual” need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz