The Love Doctor

I think I play the “Love Doctor” role too often and a little too well.

Everyone from co-workers to close friends have been asking me for advice lately.

And I oblige because no matter how heartbroken one of your girlfriends may be, she will always seek your advice, wanting a second opinion about her relationship. It’s a role I take seriously, listening and dispensing wisdom that can only come from a late 20-something lesbian talking to a straight woman about her man.

It’s all the same when it comes down to love.

Among the problems I’ve heard lately:

One is in a “relationship,” and since it hasn’t really been defined as monogamous, she wants to know if it’s okay to see other men…

One has an overcrowding girlfriend and has to baby her insecurities…

Another has a boyfriend who doesn’t appear to be all he says he is….

And one more is debating about putting her man out…for the last time…

All these issues…what about me?

I know I can share my own lesbian drama, and believe me, right now there is, but that’s just not me. I will share some of my own experiences in love, but when it comes to the things eating away at my heart, sometimes I just can’t let down my walls.

As open as I can be about another person’s problems, it’s harder for me to give back the same. I guess it comes from not wanting to burden someone else. If they’re coming to me, they’ve got their own sins and griefs to bear.

That’s enough for me to keep it to myself.

A Meme About Books

Ok, I found swiped this from someone’s site and decided I’d do it for myself, especially since I’m an avid book reader. Books have sustained me and educated me when the real world wasn’t enough. For that I’m grateful. Read on about my reading.

1. ONE BOOK THAT CHANGED YOUR LIFE?

It has to be Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry by Mildred Taylor. It was the first book I read as a child that talked explicitly about racism. As a 10 year old reading it really opened my eyes to how black people were treated. The story of the Logan family in the Depression Era totally exposed me to how Blacks are treated as second-class citizens in this country.

2. ONE BOOK YOU HAVE READ MORE THAN ONCE?


I read this Toni Morrison book when I was about 13. Although I understood it well, it took on a whole new meaning when I read it at 20. The symbolism and pain resonated more with me. I love it.

3. ONE BOOK YOU WOULD WANT ON A DESERT ISLAND?

If I’m alone, probably Mama Day. If I’m with someone, probably any Zane book.

4. ONE BOOK THAT MADE YOU LAUGH?

Scenes from a Sistah is hilarious. Best friends Misty and Reesy are two crazy sistahs getting into even crazier messes. Chile, I laughed till I wet my pants. (Okay, not literally.) From men issues to friendship woes, it rings true. Lolita Files puts her foot in it. Her other two books following the women, Getting to the Good Part and Tastes Like Chicken, are just as great.

Honorable Mention: Anything Carl Weber

5. ONE BOOK THAT MADE YOU CRY?

My Sister’s Keeper by Jodi Picoult was one of the few books I bawled at the end of. It was so sad, but I won’t give away anything. The story is simply about Anna, a healthy girl conceived to be a genetic match for her older sister Kate who has leukemia. So Anna has to endure all these tests and medical procedures just to keep Kate alive, and she’s sick of it (pardon the pun). It’s such a beautifully written, complex story with no right answers.

6. ONE BOOK YOU WISH YOU HAD WRITTEN?

Alice Walker’s The Color Purple. Never has a book been more compelling. I wish I had just an ounce of this woman’s talent.

7. ONE BOOK YOU WISH HAD NEVER BEEN WRITTEN?

Don’t really know because I try to find the good in all books. But I guess Caught Up by Nevada York, one the worst edited books I’ve ever read–and the plot wasn’t all that either.

8. ONE BOOK YOU ARE CURRENTLY READING

I Say a Little Prayer by E. Lynn Harris. I’m a big E. Lynn fan so I had to get this one. I’m right in the middle…and it’s getting good. I’m waiting for the climax cause E. Lynn always delivers.

9. ONE BOOK YOU HAVE BEEN MEANING TO READ?


Alex Haley’s Roots. Never seen the movie (okay, bad I know) because I’ve wanted to read the book first. It’s one of those Black classics that you have always wanted to get into but just haven’t. Like Native Son or The Mis-Education of the Negro. Which are both on my TBR (To Be Read) Pile.

My 9/11 Story

I remember waking up on the morning of 9/11, five years ago, a little after 8:30.

Barely opening my eyes, with the morning crust settled in my eyes, I flicked the TV channels, settling on some cable news station.

Might have been CNN, maybe Fox News.

But I heard it.

I saw it.

A plane had flown into New York City’s World Trade Center

At the time, terrorism wasn’t a thought.

Until moments later, another plane penetrated the second tower.

And in that moment, everything became clear and nothing was the same.

At that exact moment, I was less than 200 miles away from the horrific scene, vacationing in Providence, Rhode Island

It scared me. It scared me enough to think of what could happen next.

It scared me think how I was going to fly back home—or if I would even make it home.

The first person I called was my mother.

And I couldn’t get through.

The lines were busy.

I tried a few more times with no luck.

The rest of the week flew by, but it was a constant thought.

You couldn’t escape the news.

It was everywhere.

And I still wondered if I would be able to fly out of T. F. Green Airport

Would we have another attack on our country?

Could I even get home?

9/11/2001

A day so full of promise, will now be remembered for sorrow.

God truly Bless America.

Cause we surely need it.

My Sexual Preference: I’m a LESBIAN!!

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid

I scored an average of 4.71

0 1 2 3 4 5 6
Heterosexual Bisexual Homosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:

0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary

The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person’s sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person’s lifespan. While a person’s number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like “homosexual”, “heterosexual”, and “bisexual” need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz