Diary of a Mad Black Lesbian: Dispelling the Myths

In an effort to dispel misconceptions about the Black Lesbian, Deepdiva has created this public service announcement for heterosexual women and men. These myth-breakers are meant to enlighten and brighten your day as well as answer any questions you may have about the enigma and three-time minority known as a black lesbian.

We don’t recruit straight women. It’s the first misconception straight women have about us. That because we’re lesbian, we must want them. As if we aren’t discriminating. As if anything that has a pussy, we’re on it. Well, I must admit that some gay women do get a thrill turning straight girls out, most of us want someone who understands us (and somebody’s who’s not still having sex with men). Like a co-worker of mine wanted to know why lesbians don’t approach her. Gee, probably because you look straight–and you’re with your husband.

We’re not waiting for “the right man.” As hard as it is to believe, we’re not all wishing for some dude to come sweep us off our feet. (Unless she’s got a low-cut fade and wifebeater). Men aren’t our enemy, but your penis is definitely not going to turn us straight. We love women just like you do, perhaps even more so because we are one. Sorry, fellas. And no, we don’t want to have a threesome with you and a girlfriend. *Ewww* And no, you can’t just taste it (you’d be surprised how many men I’ve gotten than line from). Bottom line, you’re a man and we know the difference.

We haven’t all been molested or are posessed by evil spirits. Now this was a funny thing I overheard. Apparently some believe that a trauma had to occur for us to be gay. I also talked to someone who said it was an evil spirit pervading and perverting our bodies. I say, *sings* “Nigga, Please.” Most gay and lesbian people I know aren’t crazy and happen to be some of the sweetest people I know.

We’re called “studs” and “femmes,” not dykes. To break down the black lesbian terminology, “studs” are the more masculine gay women, and femmes, of course, are more feminine. It’s just a way of classifying ourselves. You can usually tell the difference. But like Teairra Marí sings, “Don’t let my cute face fool ya.”

We’re in your family. Depsite what you may think, we’re in your family tree. Yeah, that aunt you had that never married…probably gay. The female cousin who always dressed like a boy and always had an attractive “friend” with her…probably gay. Think about it.

We’re born this way. While there maybe be some lesbians who became that way because of society or environment, most of us feel like we’re born that way. I have a friend who knew he was gay before he even began kindergarten. It’s just something we knew, like you knew you were straight; nobody had to tell you. But unlike you, some of us spent years denying it.

So that’s it for now. Don’t forget to add your comments. Straight ladies, give me feedback about this. And gay women, I know you have your own misconceptions to add.


7 thoughts on “Diary of a Mad Black Lesbian: Dispelling the Myths

  1. Diary of a Mad Black Lesbian…

    Cute title! That movie was too funy!


    When I think about being a triple minority, I often think about the lack of support from all three groups combined. It’s a shame how alot of women don’t relate to me because I am a stud. Or how blacks are not feeling me because I love pussy and I have no shame about that! And the lesbian community is often times full of white folks who have no clue about how to support people of color.

    Alright… enough of generalizations.

    But when it comes down to it I fit some of the stereotypes about all three minority groups. However, alot of the stereotypes I don’t fit. Thats because I am an individual who is traveling throughout this world, experiencing life, and responding to life the best way that I can. I don’t know why I am the way I am… I just work with it! And appreciate being in a country where I feel somewhat free to be a black stud. Its get kinda scary traveling abroad and how people react to an openly gay masculine woman…. It’s no joke.

    Peace and Take Care,
    Mr. Stud… hee hee

  2. Why am I, the way that I am? I have the slightest idea either, Mr. Stud. I always say that I didn’t choose my “attraction”…it chose me. I didn’t wake up, one morning and decide “Hey, I think that I’ll be attracted to my female bus driver, at the age of 5. Yes, I was attracted to my bus driver. And sooo many other women, throughout my life.

    “We’re in your family” – Yes. It’s me! I’m the one, who’s secretly checking out other women. Yeah, I’m the one who brought the attractive friends to family gatherings. Only they were really just my friends.(smile)

    Lately, I’m bursting wanting to tell, who I really am. Just to get it out and in the open. A sigh of relief. At least that’s what I hope it’ll be. I know that so many will be hurt by this. It saddens me, too.

    I’m planning on telling a close friend, soon. I’m kind of afraid of what will happen to our friendship. Will she act differently towards me? She’s already mentioned not wanting any “gay person” around her children. Will I still be her child’s Godmother?

    It’s crazy! As if I hadn’t had enough to be stigmatized by…this too!? But you gotta play the hand you were dealt, huh?

    Hey, don’t get me wrong I know that I’m blessed and I’m grateful for every blessing. God has been good to me. Guess it kinda makes life a bit more interesting, though. Adds to the complexity..which is me.

    Anyway, I enjoyed your Blogg, Deep. I like your humor. Can’t wait to read the next one. Let me know.

    BLI Group Member

  3. Its like this I love studs, they treat u so good. I used 2 b with this stud, and even though were not 2 gether shell always hve a place in my heart. I often wonder though will I ever find that in a man? Im just looking 4 a stud friend rite now. Holla back. Tori.

  4. Ps, I knw that god hates this, but its weird yall I wuz more happy when I wuz with this women. Somebody help me 2 understand. Oh so confused?? Send me a reply. Signing out tori.

  5. OMG I wish I had found this a while a year ago before i came out to my parents lol. Maybe I could have given them these answers to the crazy crap they said. No mom, i havent been tramatized. And yes, dad I think she’s beautiful,and yes, therapist i find her very sexually attractive, and no random guy, i dont need any d— in my life lol. I have seen that thing doubt its gonna make me straight lol… have u seen my gf 🙂
    Love the blog ill keep reading 🙂

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