I Heart Laguna

Ohmigod, I am so into MTV’s Laguna Beach right now!! Yeah!!!

It’s this real, like, TV show with, like real kids living in the real Orange County, and like, they’re rich and stuff, and they are always, like, backstabbing and bitching about something. Totally cool, you guys.

How’s this for reality….I’m 27 years old and find myself addicted to Laguna Beach. I think it all began when I was bored one weekend, and there was absolutely nothing on TV but this show on MTV. Ashamed to say, I got caught up in the Jessica-Jason madness. Since then, I’ve been tuning in every Monday at 10 to see these spoiled white kids.

It’s like one of those guilty pleasures you hate to admit–but love to watch.

Assholes Abound!!!

Few things political pundits do appall me. I mean, we live in a country with a dim-witted president, and I reside in a state that has his brother as my governor.

But this controversy involving former Secretary of Education William J. Bennett got me to thinking. If you haven’t heard, he’s the newest idiot savant who said on his national radio talk show, Morning in America, that the solution to crime in this country would be to abort African-Americn children.

He says, “But I do know that it’s true that if you wanted to reduce crime, you could–if that were your sole purpose–you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down.”

Although he says it’s “an impossible, ridiculous and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down. So these far-out, these far-reaching, extensive extrapolations are, I think, tricky.”

WTF? You think the solution to crime in this country is to eradicate newborn black babies? Who are you fooling? Caucasians are committing crimes in the United States, too. Who’s murdering their pregnant wives at a staggering rate? Who is committing most of the sex crimes involving children in this country? It shole ain’t us, massa!

As a matter of fact, according to crime figures published by the U. S. Department of Justice, cases of homicide are being committed by more white folks than assholes like Bennett thinks. Although blacks have committed more crimes of felony, drug and gun homicides, Caucasians have performed more heinous acts such as intimate and family murder, infanticide and eldercide. They are also more likely to kill for sex-related, work-related, or surprisingly, gang-related crimes. Poison and arson are also crimes most perpetrated by whites, as well.

So take that, Mr. Bennett!!

But my question is how does a man who wrote The Book of Virtues, a best-selling, feel-good book of inspirational poetry and stories imparting practical values, come off as a no-good bigot? He was the former leader of education in America, for God’s sake. And the racist hypocrite (redundant, I know) stands by what he said. Bennett even contends that he should receive an apology because he feels his comments had been taken out of context.

In an another article, Bennett’s quoted as saying, “I don’t think people have the right to be angry, if they look at the whole thing. But if they get a selective part of my comment, I can see why they would be angry. If somebody thought I was advocating that, they ought to be angry. I would be angry.

“But that’s not what I advocate.”

When asked if he should apologize, he simply replied, “I don’t think I do. I think people who misrepresented my view owe me an apology.”

Whitey, Please!!

It just goes to show that no matter how much we think things have changed, they always stay the same. And there’s one idiot born every minute.

That Love Thang

Love, or what you think is love, is a trip.

I can honestly say I’m not in love right now, but I’m just enjoying life one day at a time.

A lot of people have been asking me about the infamous Miss M, whom I wrote about several blogs ago. I was still trying to sort out my feelings for her, and talked about her on a night I was a little vulnerable. Since then, we’re friends hanging out and enjoying each other’s company. Nothing new to report. So T (you know who you are), you can stop with all the questioning.

One thing I’ve realized about love is that you can’t force it, and it’ll come when you stop looking for it. Each day promises something new. So why not take each day as if love could be right around the corner? I try to remain optimistic about love because I know my soulmate is out there, somewhere. As I’ve said, I’m looking for Ms. Now And Forever, not Miss Right Now.

Whether that would be Miss M or Miss Whoever, remains to be seen. What does remain is my faith in love.

Which Girlfriend Are You?

Tonight is the season premiere of Girlfriends (9 p.m.), one of my favorite TV shows (besides The L Word and The Golden Girls). Joan, Maya, Toni and Lynn are the epitome of Black womanhood. They are sexy, intelligent, independent (well, except Lynn) sistahs doing it for themselves. I think all of us, whether gay or straight, can identify more with one character or another, but all of us have a little bit of each one in us. Let’s look at the Girlfriends, shall we?

Joan: the ever-present mother figure. She’s the one who takes care of everyone’s issues and ignores her own…although she has gotten a lot better about confronting things. Joan broke out on her own this season, quitting her job as a lawyer and becoming the owner of a restaurant. I’m proud of her. Now if she can only get this thing with William together. You’re a Joan if you are: compassionate, thoughtful, self-sacrificing, and conservative

Maya: the around-the-way girl with a heart of gold. She’s the no-nonsense chick who tells it like it is, even if you don’t want to hear it. Maya’s heart’s been broken but she has a resilience that speaks to the woman in all of us. I’m glad she’s back with Darnell, her ex-husband. You’re a Maya if you are: sassy, demanding, sweet and sour.

Toni: the pampered princess. Toni has many faults. Many, many, many faults. She’s bossy and pushy, but one thing Toni doesn’t allow in her life is failure. Because of it, she may push people away and demand the best. You’re a Toni if you are: bossy, a perfectionist, a diva.

Lynn: the flighty ho. Okay, maybe not a ho, but Lynn has definitely been around…a few times. She changes direction more times than a Greyhound bus. But she is always there when the girls need her. You’re a Lynn if you are: indecisive, flighty, spontaneous.

So which one are you?

Diary of a Mad Black Lesbian: Dispelling the Myths

In an effort to dispel misconceptions about the Black Lesbian, Deepdiva has created this public service announcement for heterosexual women and men. These myth-breakers are meant to enlighten and brighten your day as well as answer any questions you may have about the enigma and three-time minority known as a black lesbian.

We don’t recruit straight women. It’s the first misconception straight women have about us. That because we’re lesbian, we must want them. As if we aren’t discriminating. As if anything that has a pussy, we’re on it. Well, I must admit that some gay women do get a thrill turning straight girls out, most of us want someone who understands us (and somebody’s who’s not still having sex with men). Like a co-worker of mine wanted to know why lesbians don’t approach her. Gee, probably because you look straight–and you’re with your husband.

We’re not waiting for “the right man.” As hard as it is to believe, we’re not all wishing for some dude to come sweep us off our feet. (Unless she’s got a low-cut fade and wifebeater). Men aren’t our enemy, but your penis is definitely not going to turn us straight. We love women just like you do, perhaps even more so because we are one. Sorry, fellas. And no, we don’t want to have a threesome with you and a girlfriend. *Ewww* And no, you can’t just taste it (you’d be surprised how many men I’ve gotten than line from). Bottom line, you’re a man and we know the difference.

We haven’t all been molested or are posessed by evil spirits. Now this was a funny thing I overheard. Apparently some believe that a trauma had to occur for us to be gay. I also talked to someone who said it was an evil spirit pervading and perverting our bodies. I say, *sings* “Nigga, Please.” Most gay and lesbian people I know aren’t crazy and happen to be some of the sweetest people I know.

We’re called “studs” and “femmes,” not dykes. To break down the black lesbian terminology, “studs” are the more masculine gay women, and femmes, of course, are more feminine. It’s just a way of classifying ourselves. You can usually tell the difference. But like Teairra Marí sings, “Don’t let my cute face fool ya.”

We’re in your family. Depsite what you may think, we’re in your family tree. Yeah, that aunt you had that never married…probably gay. The female cousin who always dressed like a boy and always had an attractive “friend” with her…probably gay. Think about it.

We’re born this way. While there maybe be some lesbians who became that way because of society or environment, most of us feel like we’re born that way. I have a friend who knew he was gay before he even began kindergarten. It’s just something we knew, like you knew you were straight; nobody had to tell you. But unlike you, some of us spent years denying it.

So that’s it for now. Don’t forget to add your comments. Straight ladies, give me feedback about this. And gay women, I know you have your own misconceptions to add.

nobody wants to be lonely

Just the other day, my co-worker and I were having a discussion about loneliness.

The kind of loneliness that drapes you like your grandma’s heavy curtains, tangling your emotions in its heavy cloth. That feeling of isolation all women have from time to time. Lovers, children, bills, work…all take their toll on the feminine soul.

She said sometimes she feels as if she doesn’t know where she fits in the world. Now this wasn’t a “jumping from a ledge” type conversation, but simply a woman-to-woman conversation.

I’ve had these emotions from time to time, but I’ve also learned there’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. Lonely is when you have no one to love or turn to for affection; alone is when you’re just by yourself, maybe for just the moment or by choice.

Lonely would not describe me. I have friends and interests to keep me occupied enough to enjoy my life. I’m still looking for Miss Forever and Always, but with patience she’ll come. I’m letting God deliver the right woman to me.

The discussion made me think about one of the saddest books I’ve read recently, What Becomes of the Brokenhearted by E.Lynn Harris. The popular, much acclaimed author chronicled his life in great detail from his childhood to the present. What disturbed me was his constant search for approval and his need to never be alone, even if it meant sacrificing his well-being and mortality.

That’s the kind of loneliness that I’ve been fortunate to never have. Cause I love me. And when you have you, you’re never lonely — or alone.