Diary of a Mad Black Lesbian: Dispelling the Myths September 17, 2005

In an effort to dispel misconceptions about the Black Lesbian, Deepdiva has created this public service announcement for heterosexual women and men. These myth-breakers are meant to enlighten and brighten your day as well as answer any questions you may have about the enigma and three-time minority known as a black lesbian.

We don’t recruit straight women. It’s the first misconception straight women have about us. That because we’re lesbian, we must want them. As if we aren’t discriminating. As if anything that has a pussy, we’re on it. Well, I must admit that some gay women do get a thrill turning straight girls out, most of us want someone who understands us (and somebody’s who’s not still having sex with men). Like a co-worker of mine wanted to know why lesbians don’t approach her. Gee, probably because you look straight–and you’re with your husband.

We’re not waiting for “the right man.” As hard as it is to believe, we’re not all wishing for some dude to come sweep us off our feet. (Unless she’s got a low-cut fade and wifebeater). Men aren’t our enemy, but your penis is definitely not going to turn us straight. We love women just like you do, perhaps even more so because we are one. Sorry, fellas. And no, we don’t want to have a threesome with you and a girlfriend. *Ewww* And no, you can’t just taste it (you’d be surprised how many men I’ve gotten than line from). Bottom line, you’re a man and we know the difference.

We haven’t all been molested or are posessed by evil spirits. Now this was a funny thing I overheard. Apparently some believe that a trauma had to occur for us to be gay. I also talked to someone who said it was an evil spirit pervading and perverting our bodies. I say, *sings* “Nigga, Please.” Most gay and lesbian people I know aren’t crazy and happen to be some of the sweetest people I know.

We’re called “studs” and “femmes,” not dykes. To break down the black lesbian terminology, “studs” are the more masculine gay women, and femmes, of course, are more feminine. It’s just a way of classifying ourselves. You can usually tell the difference. But like Teairra Marí sings, “Don’t let my cute face fool ya.”

We’re in your family. Depsite what you may think, we’re in your family tree. Yeah, that aunt you had that never married…probably gay. The female cousin who always dressed like a boy and always had an attractive “friend” with her…probably gay. Think about it.

We’re born this way. While there maybe be some lesbians who became that way because of society or environment, most of us feel like we’re born that way. I have a friend who knew he was gay before he even began kindergarten. It’s just something we knew, like you knew you were straight; nobody had to tell you. But unlike you, some of us spent years denying it.

So that’s it for now. Don’t forget to add your comments. Straight ladies, give me feedback about this. And gay women, I know you have your own misconceptions to add.